Sexual Addiction
Has sexual behaviors become the priority of your life? Do you find yourself spending more time with porn than you wanted? Do you get worried when someone is on your phone or computer because you're afraid they might see what you do in private? Do you keep finding yourself managing multiple
"When you cannot stop your behavior; when you're spending more time and money than you thought you would; when you've been caught or had consequences but continue anyway; when you've made promises to quit and can't fulfill those promises to yourself, God, your family, and your wife, you most likely have an addiction." - Dr. Doug Weiss
romantic or sexual relationships? Do you find yourself doing compulsive behaviors that, if anyone where to discover or know about, you fear it would be the end of your life as you know it, yet you can't seem to stop? Or despite getting caught, hurting your loved ones, or costing you a great price, do you find yourself going back to these compulsive sexual behaviors over and over again? If this has been your experience then you may be struggling with compulsive sexual behaviors: what we call sexual addiction.
For a sexual addiction to occur, you must experience unwanted sexual behavior that continues to persist in your life despite your best efforts to change it. These unwanted sexual addictive behaviors can take many forms. Sometimes it is compulsive porn use and other sexual digital media. Sometimes it's maintaining multiple sexual partners while keeping it from your partner. Sometimes its frequent visits to massage parlors, strip clubs, or paying for sex. It can also take the form of cursing public places for potential partners or even maintaining romantic connections with others, even if it does lead to sex. Though the behaviors may differ, they become addictive when you are unable to stop on your own.
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For sex addicts, sex becomes the priority for which they sacrifice a great deal for. Just as an alcoholic has an affair with the bottle, the sex addict's relationship is with sex and romance. Distorted fantasies and satisfying behaviors that are obsessive to the point of physical harm are used in an attempt to resolve difficult and painful emotions. Acting out through sexual behaviors has a physiological component. When
addicts are lonely, stressed, or depressed, they access key neural pathways in their brain through mood-altering chemicals or behaviors which allows them to feel temporarily better.
The problem is that this pattern of using sexual behavior to emotionally sooth oneself can lead to feelings of shame and depression. Over time, addiction to this behavior has a masking effect that numbs one to their feelings. And it can lead to isolation and a complete loss of control that, given enough time, can lead one to their "rock bottom."
Interested in individual counseling? Reach out to one of our experienced counselors below to begin the recovery process!
Counselors who work with sexual addiction:
